Michael Eriksson
A Swede in Germany
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Sour grapes—or the other way around?

Some feminist raise the “can’t get a girl” claim against their male detractors. I find this interesting, because when I was a teenager who could not get girls, I still though much more highly of women than I do today—the more exposure I have had to women, the less I have thought of them. If anything, I regret that I failed to draw the right conclusions about how the female mind works from my early life with female relatives—but, unfortunately, I had too little contact with (grown) men for the distinctions to be obvious, and lacked the experience and intelligence to benefit. (Further, I have always had a tendency to “under-generalize” people, in that I attribute certain behaviours to individuals, only to realize years later that these behaviours affects much larger groups, e.g. humans, women, business graduates, ..., with few exceptions.)


In one of life’s ironies:

I could have had girls as a teen—as I have realized as an adult, with a greater understanding of women, an ability to read the obfuscated messages they call “signals”, and so on. With hindsight there are many situations that were something completely different from what I thought at the time. This not to mention the greater success I could have had with a better knowledge of what women find attractive.

Unfortunately, I was raised by women, without a male role-model to explain them; and like so many other men in the same situation, I grew up to be both incompetent and unsuccessful where women were concerned, until I had managed to gather enough knowledge to overcome this handicap. I very, very strongly encourage the readers to make sure that their own children never land in that situation. Interestingly, this is more or less the opposite of what some feminists recommend...

In fact, while my attitudes towards women have fluctuated wildly over the years, I notice a pattern during my twenties: Go without a girlfriend for a non-trivial amount of time, build up a highly positive image of women, get a girlfriend, see image of women drop considerably, see relationship peter out, go without a girlfriend for a non-trivial amount of time, ...

(Note that I, studying in male dominated courses or working in male dominated offices at the time, rarely had any “inoculation” through extensive contacts with women in non-romantic contexts.)

Had I lived my entire life without closer contact with women (be it girlfriends, colleagues, co-eds, ...), with an image based entirely on fictional depictions and propaganda, I would adore them; but I have not, and I do not.