Dr. House and social skills

The misunderstood Dr. House

I have repeatedly seen references to Dr. House as someone who is a brilliant physician, but entirely lacking in social skills. Ironically, anyone who pays attention to the show will find that his social skills are just as otherworldly as his diagnostic ability. What many people, in particular those who know the show just by reputation or have watched just a few episodes, fail to do, is understand why he behaves like a bull in a china store; and they then jump to the incorrect conclusion that he simply lacks even the most basic understanding of how the human mind works. The true reasons include (but are probably not limited to) the following:

1. He sometimes deliberate uses his skills in a way that seems insensitive in order to get patients (or their relatives) to do what he wants, e.g. give up information he needs for his diagnosis or consent to a risky procedure. This, however, is not because he lacks sensitivity, but because he knows that the emotions he puts his patient through makes them more likely to consent. This may or may not be ethically disputable or a display of faulty priorities (depending on POV); however, it is not social incompetence.

2. He does not have the strong interest in social interactions, being liked by others, etc., than most others have, nor does he have the patience and will to invest in this area for career reasons. This is not in any way a sign of lacking social skills, but just a different way of being. Unfortunately, all-too-many of the extroverted majority assume that introverts are somehow defect, or unable to build the social circle they actually want—the truth of the matter is that introverts just have different interests. Speaking for myself: I do not spend most Friday nights at home with my computer because I have few friends; on the contrary, I have few friends because I prefer to spend Friday night at home with my computer—my social needs are fulfilled much faster than those of most others, and I have many strong interests that do not involve other people.

   (Note that there are many people who are extroverted, yet have a similar life-style, because they are too shy, have social phobias, or similar, and who are miserable as a result; however, they are a very different group from the introverts.)

3. He has a number of personal issues that make it hard for him to build friendships, make him push people away, possibly even deliberate hurt people, etc. Certainly, this is a defect and a personal weakness; however, again, it is not a lack of socials skills. (Interestingly, this is a good demonstration on how we all tend to show less understanding of ourselves than of others, and are more prone to want to remove defects in them rather than ourselves. In the case of House, self-understanding and personal development is the Achilles heal of his seemingly invincible warrior.)

Without a doubt: If House wanted to be “Mr. Popular”, had the corresponding interests, and the patience needed, he would be highly successful in this regard. In fact, considering the immense psychological insights and deep understanding of the human mind he regularly demonstrates, he could easily be the chief/dean of medicine in a hospital twice the size of Princeton-Plainsboro.

An interesting contrast is Dr. Wilson (or, for that matter, most other characters on the show): He seems to be smooth, confident, socially skilled, extremely likable, and someone who has “EQ” down pat; however, in his interactions with House, he almost always ends up second—even though it should be obvious to him that House plays competitive games to a much higher degree than most other people. Even when he is clearly infuriated, even when his career is threatened (cf. the police arc of season three), he often fails to show any actual ability in, or even attempt at, handling House. This is the more surprising, because a lot of the problems he has with House stem from the latter’s testing of boundaries, much like a teenager. As no boundaries are found, House, again like a teenager, pushes further and further out, with Wilson getting a shorter and shorter end of the stick. By starting to draw lines and tolerate no passing of those lines, Wilson could eliminate a large part of the problems. (The reader may note that I made similar mistakes with BA2; however, her provocations and boundary crossings were much smaller. Even in my old misguided tolerance of her incompetence and lack of respect for others, I would never have let her get away with the extremes House has gone to with regard to Wilson.) Notably, it is not sufficient to explain Wilson’s reluctance to take a stand with their friendship or his tolerance for House’s eccentricities: Even here a lack of psychological insight is present, because nothing is gained by either party by this reluctance—taking a stand would benefit not only Wilson himself, but House too, and very likely strengthen, not weaken, their friendship.

A notable difference between me and House is that he has realized that humans are easy to manipulate and takes full advantage of this, whereas I so far have not been able to overcome my unconscious believe that the average human is rational and intelligent—even in the face of plenty of evidence to the contrary.

Dr. House on the Myers-Briggs scale

I have received surprisingly many hits on this page from search engines with queries like “Dr. House MBTI” or “Doctor House Myers-Briggs”. Since this seems to be a point of interest to the public, I pretended to be Dr. House while taking an online personality test^e. The result was INTP.

This result must be seen with some caveats, however, including that I skipped a number of questions where I was highly uncertain about the right answer, the general unreliability of short tests on websites, and the risk that my own personality (INTJ according to a more thorough off-line test) has influenced my answers. Certainly, I cannot guarantee that I gave the same answers as Hugh Laurie or a writer (director, whatnot) on the show would have given, had he tried the same experiment.